(The above ecard was written by a friend of mine who is also
going through the trials and tribulations of finding a decent man online.)
I think I mentioned this one before but iF yOu tYpe LiKe tHiS I will automatically think that you are annoying no matter how cute you are (and he was cute).
If you look completely stoned in your profile pic I'm going to pass (though I'm sure some of my friends would like your number, though not for dating purposes).
If your profile photo (and/or most of your photos) are self portraits where your camera is blocking most of your face, I'm going to think you're an idiot. Call me judgmental, fine, just don't call me looking for a date. I'm not here to date your camera.
Ohmigod this one guy totally looks like a stand-in for Wolverine. Just had to tell you that.
Guys - learn to take photos of yourself when YOU'RE NOT IN THE BATHROOM. It's not that hard. Hold your camera up and smile into it. Or get your friend to take a photo of you. And if you have an iPhone 4S the camera has a "reverse" feature where you can see yourself as you take a picture of yourself. Seriously, I'm tired of seeing everybody's damn bathroom! (By the way, Wolverine's shower curtain kind of looks like Warhol prints.)
Speaking of photos - please don't post just one. Even when you buy shit online you get more than one photo. And try to choose a nice variety of photos, not five photos that were clearly all taken in the same day.
Also, smile. Nobody wants to date a serial killer. Actually, some chicks are into that, but not me.
I try to avoid anyone with headshots in their photos. This is a dating site, not a casting call.
There's this one guy who's really cute but has messy hair - in every photo. If it was just a single "look" I could say, "Okay, at least he doesn't look like that all the time." But according to his photos, he does. Should I ask him out and bring a brush on the first date?
If you're rocking the bald look, there's a 99.9% chance I'm going to pass on dating you. There's nothing wrong with being bald but I'm attracted to men with hair - I like to have something to run my hands through when we kiss.
Now I know my friends tell me I'm being too picky and you know what my response is to that, right? If I take the time to put thought and effort into a buying a car (does it have the features I want, is it affordable, how long will it last, etc.) why shouldn't I be just as picky (IF NOT MORE!) when choosing a man to date?
My friends also say I'm being too difficult on guys and their profiles but seriously - this is an online dating site. You're basically selling yourself online just like a couch. Shouldn't you at least take the time to market yourself well? This is the only first impression you get to make online and it's the difference between someone sending you a message to say hello or clicking the NEXT button. Make a fucking effort. Proof your content, post more than one photo (that isn't sideways, blurry, has a camera blocking your face, and/or wherein you are actually smiling). You can thank me later, when you start getting more dates because women will take you more seriously.
As for me, I'm still single. Although I do have a date tonight. Did I meet him on the internet? Of course not. That would've been too easy.
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