Unwell

I received this message on Wednesday from a would-be suitor:

Well Hello =-) How Are You Doing? Im Michael. Well I Just Came Across
Your Profile and I like what I
see. I'd Like to get to know you hoping YOU feel the same as well. ...Well what
are you up too? How was your day?
As for me I am in the city of MISSION HILLS, in the SAN FERNANDO VALLEY....(Not
far from you) Well take a look at
my PROFILE and let me know what you think... If not, that's Ok...Well I hope to
hear from you soon .. .

Before you ask, yes, that's exactly how the message came in, weird line breaks and all.

This man is very fond of capitalizing words AND/OR putting them IN all caps.  (See what I did there?)

He clearly knows where the apostrophe and comma buttons are on his keyboard but it's just as clear that he does not like them.

He asked what I was up too.

I am disturbed that he is "not far" from me.  I'm going to change my location to Kansas.

In other news, I sent a message to a guy that was not only attractive but had a coherent, intelligent yet funny sounding profile.  He wasn't interested in me but instead of ignoring me or saying "I'm not interested, thanks" he replied:

That's a wonderful intro into who you are.  You sound like an awesome gal.  I'm looking for something a little different though.  I wish you all the luck in the world on this site. :)

As for me, I still go with the Ignore Method of rejecting men I'm not interested in on this site.  Unless they don't get the hint and keep messaging me (like that guy on Match who sent me six messages and a wink) in which case I'll have to tell them I'm not interested.

I'm not sure which method of rejection is best, however.  I like the Ignore Method because it's non-confrontational.  It doesn't open the door for the other person to start asking WHY you aren't interested.  I had that happen with someone in real life: my friend told X straight up that I wasn't interested in him (though I have no idea why said friend did this) so X started asking me via Facebook messages why I wasn't feeling it.  Keep in mind I barely knew X so being asked why I wasn't into him was awkward beyond belief.  I finally said, "I don't know you, I'm not comfortable having this conversation with you."  And then deleted him from Facebook.

The Ignore Method also means you don't end up in conversations wherein the suitor tries to change your mind.  That has also happened to me in real life.  An older gent I knew from the bar scene was sweet on me and I pretty much told him that it was never going to happen.  So he started giving me a song and dance about how, in his infinite wisdom of being an older dude, he knew that if we hung out more then the friendship would evolve, blah blah blah.  He didn't really phrase it as a "hey maybe" but more of a "trust me, I know it will happen."  He was a nice guy, don't get me wrong, but I tried to explain, I'm flattered but don't try to tell me about ME.  Nobody knows me better than me, and me, myself, and I know we don't want to date you. 

But the Ignore Method can also come across as rude.  Think about it, if someone took the time to reach out to you to say hello, even if you're not interested, shouldn't you at least reply, if only to say as much?  I've tried online dating many times over the last couple of years and the etiquette I quicly picked up on for rejecting others was the Ignore Method.  However, the nice girl in me feels like maybe that's too mean.  Should I be sending handwritten thank you notes instead?  "Dear [Name], Thank you for submitting your application, however, the position has already been filled."  Wait, that would be a lie.  But I could say something nice like the guy who told me I was awesome.

I could say, "Thank you for your message.  You sound like an awesome guy but I'm looking for something a little different though.  I'm looking for a man that can spell.  Happy fishing!"  Well there you go.  He thinks I'm awesome but doesn't want to date me.  That's okay because his reply was nice.  It wasn't an abrupt "no thanks" and it wasn't the flat out ignore that most people do (myself included) when approached by someone they are not interested in.  So there you go - I got rejected (again) but at least he was nice about it.