Hold On

"Hold on...
A voice tells me hold on...
Somewhere I feel...hold on...
Hold on... "
(Pearl Jam)

So, the online dating saga continues.  I received a message today wherein the guy asked me about the carbs I rebuilt on my MG [when I still had it], which I had mentioned in my profile.  He totally earned bonus points for that because most guys have an opening line like "Hey beautiful!" or they compliment me on my eyes or smile.  Don't get me wrong - who doesn't love a compliment?  I just appeciate it when a guy takes the time to actually read my profile and/or has an opening line that catches my attention.  Unfortuately, carb guy is not someone I could imagine kissing goodnight so I passed on him.  Not to mention he was totally wrong about the type of carbs (they were Weber, not Stromberg).

I did have a real life date over the weekend but I have not found my future ex-husband.  He's cute and nice but he's not the right cute, nice guy for me.

However, according to a close (guy) friend of mine, at my age, I'm going to have to either settle or resign myself to being single.  That's right, according to him, my only options are SETTLE or SINGLE. 

Really?  That's it?!

Why?  Because I'm divorced, almost 40, not looking for casual sex, and I'm not a size 6 anymore?

Why should I settle?  And why should I have to?  (It should be noted that my girl friends do not give me this advice so maybe it's just a guy thing?)  If I was looking for a red velvet couch, would you advise me to buy the brown linen couch or would you tell me to keep looking?  (You know I love my couch analgoies...)  I mean, if I want what I want, why shouldn't I seek it?  And why is it so hard to imagine that I would find it?

Surely there are intelligent, funny, cute guys out there who are looking for the same in a woman (me being "the same").  Why is it so unimaginable that we should find one another?

I've gone through enough romantic experiences to know that settling never does anyone any good.  And it's something I do not plan on doing ever again.

If I can't find a guy that meets my criteria then I can always adjust that criteria.  And seriously, it's not like I've given a list of specifics like: Must be 5'10", long brown hair, brown eyes, Gemini, originally from Kentucky (and yes, I just described Johnny Depp).  There are some things I could probably overlook or compromise on but overall, he's gotta be what I'm looking for or else no go.

Settling is not in my vocabulary.  Okay, it's in my vocabulary literally, as I've just discussed it, but you know what I mean.  I won't settle.  I just won't.

I would rather be single than settle.  And you know what? I'm totally okay with that.  However, I refuse to believe that my only two options are SETTLE and SINGLE. 

Becase right now, I still believe that FALL IN LOVE is one of my options.  And the one I'm rooting for.